Top Leadership: 8 Signs You Are Not Taking Care of Yourself

Author: Majken Lorelei Matzau

Senior leaders are exceptionally skilled at managing outward appearances while ignoring what is happening inward. It is part of what makes them effective – the ability to project calm and certainty in conditions of pressure. But this same capacity can become a liability when it prevents them from seeing what is actually happening to them.

Over twenty-five years of working with executives, I have observed eight warning signs that a leader has stopped taking care of themselves. They rarely appear in isolation. More often, they cluster – and by the time a leader notices several of them, the situation has usually been building for some time.

The Eight Signs

Sleep has become a battle. The nights are restless. The mind does not stop when the body finally stops moving. There is a persistent sense of unease that survives even exhaustion.

The work has lost its meaning. What once felt alive and engaging now feels mechanical. There is no spark in the morning – only obligation.

The body is speaking but not being heard. Headaches, tension, digestive problems. These are not irritations to be managed – they are signals to be understood. But they are being overridden by the pressure to continue.

Close relationships have become obligations. Family and friends – people who were once sources of renewal and joy – now feel like another form of demand. The warmth has drained out of the connections that matter most.

Intuition has gone quiet. The internal compass that once guided decisions clearly has become clouded. There is more doubt, more second-guessing, less confidence in the deeper knowing that was once reliable.

Decisions that were once easy now require enormous effort. Simple choices feel like mountain climbs. The mental energy required to act has increased dramatically.

Withdrawal has replaced engagement. Someone who was previously curious, present, and initiative-taking now avoids, closes doors, and retreats behind screens.

Stimulants have become load-bearing. Wine to decompress. Coffee to function. Sugar for short-term relief. These are not choices – they are symptoms of a system that is no longer self-sustaining.

What to Do With This

If you recognize yourself in several of these – the question is not whether something is wrong. Something is. The question is what you are willing to do about it.

Your board. Lay the cards on the table and ask for real help.

Set boundaries. Say no, delegate, and sort out what can wait.

Your partner. Be transparent and accept help.

Regain control. Get a grip on your calendar and your tasks.

Recovery. Prioritize breaks and vacation – seriously.

Meditation. Find calm through stillness and reflection.

Replace habits. Swap destructive patterns for healthy alternatives.

Your evenings. Eight hours of sleep, and no electronics after 7 pm.

Professional support. An executive coach or mentor can help you.

You cannot lead well from a place of depletion. And the organization you lead cannot afford for you to try for long.

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